The dark night of the soul.

Love was there.

Family, identity. The love of children.

The smile of my baby boy. The laughter of my little girl.

Growing old together. Sharing. Honesty. Trust. Faithfulness.

A home built for family. To feel safe in. To love in.

Gone in a moment.

Forever gone.

I lie awake. I pray.

I feel something around me.

Feeling angels cutting a part of me away. What are they doing to me? Something around me? Something binding me? I notice it, I feel it, but it does not hurt. They finish, and go. I feel another part of me is gone.

I do not understand. But the angels leave no words. No comfort.

Alone. Despair. Shadows. Dreams. Nightmares and I.

And horror. Horror.

Nothing left.

Life or Death? I care not. I fear now to be, but not to die.

Who am I?

Why am I?

How much can one man suffer, and still be?

Chasing silence. Chasing shadows. Lighting candles.

I pray. Too hurt to cry. Agony. Emptiness.

No tears. No relief.

Silence. Nothing. It's empty. Forever empty.

Time is eternity.

A... spark? Feeling something. Feeling.

Something... stirring.

Pain? Always... no... no. It's different. Growing. Birthing... something inside.

Deep inside.

Pain from... being born? Something... like being born. Aching. Expanding.

Seasons change.

I pray once.

Praying from somewhere new? My own voice inside...

Somehow different. Echoing. Depth. I feel power.

From deep. Just... deep.

The world is different. I see it, different.

I go outside, and watch the sunrise.

Birds chirping. Wind blowing. Animals calling.

A chill in the air.

It sounds like me. It feels like me. I feel it all... deep. Just deep.

It's echoing inside me. I am connected. I am a part of it.

Not alone. No longer alone. Never alone.

I feel... love.

It's small. It's just a little. But it feels true. Like gold purified in a fire.

It feels... pure.

Holy.

I feel... power there.

Love made it all. All of it. The birds, the wind, the sunrise...

And this. Love made this. Love gave me this.

Love connects me to it all. All of it outside of me. Somehow. I know it. I don't know how.

Love made me.

Just... love.

It can never be taken away from me.

Never.