Bringing it all together

I've been a christian all of my life. In going through turmoil, I prayed and asked God to help me, and I believe He did.

I didn't think He did until recently. I know He did, now. And He was, all along the way.

I have no doubt.

I was introduced to the book "the secret", and from that book, researched everything I could about the law of attraction.

This brought me to the teachings of Abraham, and the "law of attraction".

It's interesting, as the law of attraction is based on the supposition that God does not exist as we think He does. That there is no "Jesus" to speak of. God isn't what we think He is.

The universe is the power behind these things.

I was a little afraid, as the more I searched, the more it began to come clear to me that "the secret" was bringing hope. Whereas attending church, was not.

Now I see things in an even clearer perspective. I believe that what is presented is truth. The law of attraction is real. But you know, so is Jesus. So is God.

I believe this great God of the universe knows "the secret", has always known "the secret", and put me in touch with it, knowing that I would learn what I needed to in order to bring real relief to my soul, and to my life.

And it has. I do get down sometimes, but I rebound more quickly. I have more hope in my life, I have more joy, I have "more."

I also think that "the secret" was always there, in the Bible, for all to see. But blindly we looked for others to explain what the Bible said. We are taught to study, and to ask the pastor what it means, if we don't know.

To ask those with more light, I guess. Pfft.

Where did our ability to reason go?

I hate to say it, but churches brought me nothing but pain. All of my life, in fact.

When I look back, I can think of no comfort that came unconditionally. It was always, "if". If if if if if if if.

Isn't the opposite of that what the church is supposed to do? Isn't that what Jesus commanded? To be "unconditional love".

I often wonder what went wrong.

The secret, is truth. The Bible, is truth. Church? Lost that truth somewhere...

I think honestly that "the secret" is being presented in a way that tries to make God, Jesus, the whole christian experience, redundant.

The problem, I'm afraid, is that this teaching of the law of attraction is indeed truth, and strangely enough, supported by the Bible.

I think this is the parable of the talents from the Bible, and many, many other teachings. Many stories of pictures, in words.

Give people the power to show the world who they really are. Allow them the tools to manifest a mirror image of who... they... are.

I must ask... why were we not taught this by our christian leaders? Why do those who have spent years upon years in a seminary, knowing these truths, have kept them from the believers? If they didn't know, what were they learning?

Oh yeah, church. They were learning about church. What about, "truth"?

Here's some "truth", and I don't need a minister to translate, now that I have experienced it for myself:

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about those things." Phil 4:8

The law of attraction at work.

"So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." Col 3:1-2

As above, so below, as stated in the Emerald Tablet.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." Proverbs 23:7

Again, the law of attraction put in the simplest terms that anyone can understand.

^"...and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus..." Ephesians 2:6

Interesting, as the belief is that your "higher self" becomes what you are desiring, and then manifests in your life. Where is this "higher self"? I believe this is the answer, in simple terms.

Why in 37 years of going to church, in reading the Bible, did these things escape me? Most importantly, why are these things not taught in churches? As to the reason they are there?

I can only draw a conclusion based on my own experience, and that is for whatever reason, the truth is coming out. The bad thing is, it's coming out in a way that tries to make christianity redundant.

I have to think that the church has done a good job of becoming redundant by itself.

People need to know the power they have been given. The power they have over their own lives, and their own destiny.

Free people, don't set them in bondage. Show people the laws that God has laid down, don't hide them, sugarcoat them, or coat them with lies.

I don't have a conclusion to make here, I'm just dumbfounded.

I believe Jesus came and died for us, in order for us to be able to manifest more powerfully what is good and pure, if we believe.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Eph 3: 20,21

St Luke 17:21, "Behold, the kingdom of God is within you."

I also believe that this "salvation" echoes farther than we have been taught. I believe we have a gift. It's time to use it to co-create our lives, and to make a difference.

"...I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" John 10:10.

The steps to the secret are ask, believe, and receive. Thoughts... become... things.

"...as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing." 2 Thess 1:3.

I'll be honest. I don't know my life's purpose anymore. But I do know I am moving towards something more wonderful than I have every experienced.

Baby steps.

My dearest wish, is that one day I will become a perfect mirror, and that my desires will both reflect, and echo, that which I believe is true love and purity.

I wish to manifest these things in my life, and manifest them abundantly for the benefit of all who love me. And to be that love made manifest.

This is my dearest desire, above all things.

20 Years Ago: A Dream

20 years ago, when I was young:

I had a dream.
It was unworldly. Vivid. Special. Just for me and only me.
You showed me something and asked me a question.
How strange it felt that you expected no answer.

Those 20 years ago, when I was young.

Today, in an instant, I know. Suddenly, like a flash of lightning.
And like the thunder that follows I remembered the dream, and your question.
It plays back in my mind. I remember.

From 20 years ago. When I was young.

I now have the answer: It is "yes". That is the answer to your question.
You knew, didn't you? You knew this day would come!

Even 20 years ago, when I was young.

Who am I that you would be mindful of me?
You have never stopped being with me.
You have always been here with me.

Even 20 years ago, when I was young.

With tears of gratitude I thank you from all that I am.
Thank you for guiding me.
Thank you for loving me.

Duality is a disease.

Men are from Mars, women from Venus.

Why divide?

Separation?

Difference?

We are close. Closer than we see.

We feel it.

We are connection made manifest.

Men are born of the sun. Women of moon.

But one earth!

Oh... just ONE earth.

The stars are their children.

Of father sun and mother moon...

Perfect children.

Where light and darkness mingle, is beauty. True beauty.

We are all one.

I am a man. I chose to be. You, the woman.

We are perfectly different, made different to perfectly connect.

Ah, to connect. Not to divide. Not to separate.

We are born into intimacy. A natural flow.

A perfection of choice, and of being.

Two lights. One purpose. One painting.

Only one sunrise.

Only one sunset.

Two lights as one.

Perfection made manifest.

The dark night of the soul.

Love was there.

Family, identity. The love of children.

The smile of my baby boy. The laughter of my little girl.

Growing old together. Sharing. Honesty. Trust. Faithfulness.

A home built for family. To feel safe in. To love in.

Gone in a moment.

Forever gone.

I lie awake. I pray.

I feel something around me.

Feeling angels cutting a part of me away. What are they doing to me? Something around me? Something binding me? I notice it, I feel it, but it does not hurt. They finish, and go. I feel another part of me is gone.

I do not understand. But the angels leave no words. No comfort.

Alone. Despair. Shadows. Dreams. Nightmares and I.

And horror. Horror.

Nothing left.

Life or Death? I care not. I fear now to be, but not to die.

Who am I?

Why am I?

How much can one man suffer, and still be?

Chasing silence. Chasing shadows. Lighting candles.

I pray. Too hurt to cry. Agony. Emptiness.

No tears. No relief.

Silence. Nothing. It's empty. Forever empty.

Time is eternity.

A... spark? Feeling something. Feeling.

Something... stirring.

Pain? Always... no... no. It's different. Growing. Birthing... something inside.

Deep inside.

Pain from... being born? Something... like being born. Aching. Expanding.

Seasons change.

I pray once.

Praying from somewhere new? My own voice inside...

Somehow different. Echoing. Depth. I feel power.

From deep. Just... deep.

The world is different. I see it, different.

I go outside, and watch the sunrise.

Birds chirping. Wind blowing. Animals calling.

A chill in the air.

It sounds like me. It feels like me. I feel it all... deep. Just deep.

It's echoing inside me. I am connected. I am a part of it.

Not alone. No longer alone. Never alone.

I feel... love.

It's small. It's just a little. But it feels true. Like gold purified in a fire.

It feels... pure.

Holy.

I feel... power there.

Love made it all. All of it. The birds, the wind, the sunrise...

And this. Love made this. Love gave me this.

Love connects me to it all. All of it outside of me. Somehow. I know it. I don't know how.

Love made me.

Just... love.

It can never be taken away from me.

Never.

On soulmates and the twin flame.

I'm learning a lot about soulmates and the concept of the twin flame.

I've found some very interesting ideas.

Unless we learn to live a life from the perspective of love, and from our own awakened heart, we cannot be drawn closer to our soulmate, nor they to us.

Along those lines, if we desire our soulmate with expectation of what we are to receive FROM them, and not from a sincere and total desire of what we want to GIVE them, again, we cannot be drawn closer, one to another.

The key, it seems, is the desire to express unconditional love. In loving for the sake of loving. In giving to another that which only we can give, and choose to give freely.

Obviously, none of this is possible unless we connect with God, and God's love. But I believe that is the basis for an awakened heart, as well.

And a huge part of that step, is to decide to RECEIVE God's love. Some feel that they are unworthy to receive that. How far they are from the truth.

I have a great desire to love another as they were made to be loved. However, the desire must be there to give only the purest form of love... without expectation or reward.

Giving love is it's own reward. We were created to love each other.

It's human nature to be selfish, but one higher truth rings true:

We can never really run out of love to give. The more we freely give, the more love we freely receive.

Something to think about.

It's the same!

Kind of moving forward on a concept that I was exploring in another blog I wrote, is the concept that one's capacity for suffering is directly proportional to one's capacity to feel joy in the next life, and that one's capacity to inflict suffering on another, is also directly proportional to one's capacity to feel suffering in the next life.

Taking this forward, I've found some parallels with our daily emotional life that I find interesting.

For one, the very device with which we give love emotionally, is that which we also receive.

This should be a "wow" moment if you haven't realized this. It was for me!

If you hide behind a wall, and rob others of the love that only you can give, why be surprised when that is the quality of love that you receive?

Think of giving, and spreading about what God has given you without thought of reward. If you do, that is the very mechanism with which you receive abundance.

I'm starting to see the mark of a master architect on anything and everything. It is perfect, and yet remains hidden. It truly is a game of chasing silence, if you will.

I don't understand why these things eluded me before, when they were a part of me, and all around me... right in front of my nose.

What the stars have shown me

I ordered a neonatal astrology report, inputting my birthday, time of birth to the minute, and place of birth. I wanted to get an ancient perspective on my past, and frankly, I'm open to new tools in whatever form they may take.

I was blown away.

I mean I've read the daily horoscopes, and frankly, their accuracy is terrible.

But wow, when you have one created just for you? I can honestly say that the report was about 85% accurate.

It served it's purpose... I found exactly written down what I have been struggling from.

And that's the key, isn't it? Without a correct perspective of the past, how does one chart a new future?

If found it very interesting that within the report was a summary that stated I would relearn how to live at a point in my life, but I had to break free first.

Amazing. Here I am.

I've become aware through meditation of something interesting. I'm rather at an impasse regarding it.

Through expanding my awareness of my thoughts, I've become aware for a little while now of this flowing river of thoughts that, until recently, has passed by my consciousness unnoticed and unchecked.

Negative energy, self-defeatist, unworthiness. These thoughts were flowing past my rational mind, and straight into manifesting exactly what they are intended to: heartbreak, job loss, financial loss, uncertainty, fear, and defeat.

No wonder I hit rock bottom.

Now that I have the knowledge of what was the cause, exactly how do I fix it? I was in technical repair for all of my working life.

I know I have to comprehend and utilize the tools available to me. But it's hard to grasp that which is metaphysical, much less find an exact tool or process that you trust to have results.

I suppose awareness is the beginning of fulfillment, it's just that the journey is new.

I'm like a baby waking up in a new world that was always there, but I couldn't see it before.